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another_soultobare
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Name: Melanie
Birthday: 5/8/1990
Gender: Female


Interests: Divination, nostalgia, creation, musical instruments.

Expertise: being your greatest friend, but worst lover.

Occupation: Student
Industry: Melanie-hood


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: MID night MEL
MSN: canismajormel08@hotmail.com
Yahoo: puppy_menny


Member Since: 7/17/2006

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Friday, November 24, 2006

I really have nothing to say anymore on this damn thing...

Anything I want to talk about is how I'm sad and all that bullshit.

And that's all I am, sad. I'm just so fucking sad these days. Life is so far from sucky, I swear, but sadness continues to weigh heavier than happiness so it's just who I am

And the more I'm sad, the less people wanna be around me.

But the less people wanna be around me, the more I'm sad.

Melanie, why can't you goddamn love yourself/

Or, why can't you do something besides fucking whine?

I feel like calling him even after I keep on saying goodbye, hoping to god if I say it enough, I'll stop thinking about him as if he cared or ever thought about me.

Even if I do act happy or carefree, it's to cover up sadness so some people might enjoy being around me, but all in all, no one wants to be around me. These people may think they know me up and down, but they don't. I don't feel safe with them.

I can never feel safe with anyone...

Happy or sad. Loving myself or hating myself...

I'm still really lonely.


Monday, October 16, 2006

OCTOBER 28TH!

 

Party ta-ime.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

What am I supposed to do with all this love..

Loneliness..

And hectic schedule

When he expected me to change or at least calm down...

And I didn't.

So fuck, I'm screwed.

I will probably have to go back to square one in finding an actual best and close friend I'll accidentally screw over because I decide they're the current love of my life or with correlation of them...

Goddamnit.

I only hope he reads this now and realizes this friendship wasn't meant to be.

I only hope now I'll feel better once it's all over...


Sunday, September 17, 2006

doing alot lately so I barely wanna come on in belief no one really reads these things anymore. But I do read everyone else's just don't comment.

Take care.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Play me a song that makes my life turn upside down and no more will I frown just because I exist for the man who will never show at my door and does he see the way I stand? Swing side to side, I like how you care, and pretend to be there, after all, you say you're my friend...

Can't really write anymore...

Take care


1). Is there someone who you like at the moment?
Yeah, but that's kind of how I work...Go from love-interest to love-interest, always searching for the nice things from the wrong people.

2). Have you ever given or been given roses?
I've been given one rose...usually that's from my teacher, Mrs. Cusick, during a production.

3). What is your all time favorite romance movie?
It's kind of hard to say...I guess Edward Scissorhands or Heathers. But they only included love interests, rather than being about love.

4). How many times can you honestly say you've been in love?
Toooooo many times, or I just imagined I was in love so, yeah.  

5). Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
Definitely. I believe in unicorns too.

6). Do you think that you should become friends with someone first? 
YES. Because when you get into a relationship you SHOULD know who you're dating before you tie yourself down with them.

7). Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yeah! And it physically/emotionally hurts all at the same time.

8). What do you think about long-distance relationships?
Well, if you can still see the person every now and then, I guess it's okay. I mean, my brother has managed to keep his girlfriend from Chicago for a year and half so far...

9). Your thoughts on online relationships?
Not worth your time, ever. It's pointless. Relationships NEED the sensual side of it, and online doesn't do CRAP in that area. 

10). Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger? 
5 years older. Not because I think guys are maturer when older, but...at this point, they'd be a 6th grader.

11). Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
So many times that it's ruined really good friendships. I can't help it. I love anyone who's male and managed to spend more time with me then most friends would....

12). Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater?"
From experience, I think that's kind of true. Depends on how hard that person will work on stop being a goddamn cheater 'cause it can be as addictive as smoking or drinking caffiene. Once you break some boundaries, the habit to want to do that again can happen and it gets all mucky and hard to organize with the realization of what kind of person you're turning yourself into.

13). How many kids do you want to have?
At least three, no more than seven or five.

14). Do you usually fall for a wrong boy/girl or the right boy/girl?
How can you really ask a question that's so completely black and white? I can't really say. At first they were right, turns out they were wrong, but I don't always regret who I've dated. So maybe they were right for me at that time.

15). What is your favorite color(s)?
Wait, aren't we talking about relationships and stuff like that?

16). What are your views on gay marriage?
Not against it, one bit. Love isn't about gender, it's about love. Marriage isn't Christian, it's just a matrimony that binds them together. I fucking researched bitches, try to tell me I'm wrong.

17) Have you ever broken someones heart?
Yes. And even on purpose. Or I imagine I did break their heart.

18). Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died, would you re-marry? 
No. Dude, by the time I'm 79, I'll probably be satisfied with my love I've given/recieved. I don't need romance in my life forever, there are more important things than that. And of course I'd be sad and I just hope my spouse wasn't too young, maybe around my age or older.

19) What song do you want to hear at your wedding?
The song I made up for them. A composition with dramatic symphony music and lyrics giving a subliminal/slightly full description about how much I love them.



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